• from shameless motion control knockoffsto games made by a company called chintendo, we count 15 of the worst blatant console clonesever to empty your granddad's wallet 10 - game theory admiral,• what seems to be a gameboy advance clone made for people with no money or eyeballs,where you slot bulky cartridges in the top that hangs over the console like a rooftop• you can't play gameboy advance games though
Atari Flashback 4 Game List, - you're stuck with original nintendo games,but only japanese ones since this machine only supports the famicom• through the magic of bootleg production, the screen does indeed support colour andeven outputs video to your tv so it feels like you're actually playing a japanese nintendoconsole while you're hunched 2 inches away
from the screen holding a $2 controller thatbreaks if you apply pressure 9 - px 3600,• heralded as the official merging of the ps3 and xbox 360 until you've looked at thebox at a distance closer than 300 metres - it's a console that displays a disc drive thatcan't actually open, or exist • you can't play ps3 games, nor xbox 360,but a series of low grade pre-installed games with controllers that plug in to what seemto be atari 2600 ports from the 1970s • one controller features vibration, moreof a dim, vague, occasional pulse than anything else, and the other controller doesn't vibrateat all - because clearly all of the production cost went into manufacturing the disc traythat they forgot to put in
8 - nintendo polystation,• polystation is actually quite a popular knock-off brand, many different iterationsof the same thing - cheap semi-playable crap designed to trick old people and blind parents• this console doesn't even know what it wants to rip off - it uses the brand and boxof the nintendo 64, the console design of the playstation 1, namco games and a supernintendo game cartridge design • boasting a million in-built games i shityou not, this console comes with the tagline "it's just not a game anymore", as if they'dtaken the opening paragraph from its inevitable copyright infringement notice and used itto promote the actual unit • also: you might think that's a disc trayon top of the console, but it's not - that
right there is a cartridge slot7 - neo double games, • infamously terrible, an aesthetic rip-offof the nintendo ds with none of the features, but instead you're supposed to physicallyremove the screen to change each game • the games themselves are the same onesyou've played a thousand times featuring lcd people, horribly backlighting and zero funguaranteed • not only is the hinge holding the topscreen so flimsy that you have to play on a specific angle lest it crush your fingers,but the bottom screen doesn't even function - it's essentially a case to hold your alternativegame, one i'm sure you'll spend hours and hours watching collect piles of dust6 - wi vision,
• another console attempting to cash inon the wii's former explosive success, the wi vision comes complete with full hd visualoutput at a whopping 240x240 resolution and 64 bit colours• the games you'll find here will be from the original nintendo since emulating supernintendo games clearly requires super advanced experimental alien technology that costs moremoney to produce than that which exists in the entire world• but prepare yourselves, because though this console comes with restrictive, oesophagus-crushinglimitations, they do package in wireless controllers all at the low low price of $1505 - chintendo vii, • like something out of an episode of southpark, but curious since not only did it rip-off
the wii, but the guys at chintendo actuallycreated their own games for it - surprising since most of these consoles settle for pureemulation • the components are the cheapest possiblequality, but at least the wireless vii controller has motion control and even sound output - notthat it matters when you're playing $2 sprite games rejected from wario wares• some aren't that bad like bird knight which blends a traditional platformer withballoon fight controls, while others like fry egg make you bleed internally4 - super megason iv, • possibly the greatest console ever, beatingout the overhyped ps4 and xbox one, the super megason comes built in with a million games- and with extra cartridge
• you'll find the super megason come ina variety of models, including the original which looks very similar to a super nintendo,except for the minor detail that the cartridge slot is only used for decoration• games are basic reskins of each other, because playing tetris number 502 in a slightlydifferent shade of almond is every kids dream 3 - i-dong,• a knockoff of microsoft's kinect that actually doesn't do too bad a job - it doesn'tuse your body as a controller though, it uses sensors, reflector pads and ir lights to identifythe accompanying controller • in that respect, it's more like a wii,but you can also hook the i-dong into your pc or set-top box too whereupon it's fullyfunctional
• the only thing holding the console backapart from its shameless hardware piracy is the name, because when christmas comes aroundwhat kid asks his parent for an i-dong? 2 - mega drive extreme,• well, you have to hand it to these guys, they tell you exactly what kind of games toexpect on the console you're buying, except the "extreme" part must be referring to theway it rips off the design of both xbox and playstation• like the title implies, you can only play mega drive slash sega genesis games here,but the controller which has a playstation design comes with six buttons splurged higgeldypiggeldy all over the tiny surface area • on rare occasions you might find thisconsole with a light gun, but be prepared
for the same dodgy quality found in the consoleitself 1 - mini polystation 3• just when you thought the polystation couldn't get any better, we find this gemperfectly emulating the graphical fidelity of the playstation 3 console• the screen folds out from the disc port and you're given a tiny controller that literallyfits inside your hand, with the two analog sticks replaced with the start and b button• this is a considerable step up from the mini polystation 2 which did not have a screenthat features backlighting - truly a technological breakthrough• this overwhelming package of fun requires 3 aa batteries though, so you might need tostart saving up
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