- welcome, everybody,to f**k! marry! kill! today, we have the lovely ariel, who is married to one of the men on the other side of this curtain. the other two men are his friends,
Did The Game Get Married, and she's going to have to figure out which one of them is her husband so she can pick him to marry, and then pick one of theothers to f**k and kill.
are you ready? - i'm feeling pretty good. i'm a little nervous.- obviously. - i feel like there's a lot ofpressure to pick my husband. - right, because you don'twanna ruin your relationship. - yeah.- yeah. - yeah. i'm ariel, and today i'mgoing to marry my husband, or at least f**k him, but i'mdefinitely not gonna kill him.
- i know this isn't how the game works, but i hope that she bothmarries and f**ks me. - you know, the way nedtalks about being married, it just sounds great. i want that. i'm gonna marry ned's wife. - i want ariel to choosened to get married, because that's true love, but it doesn't mean shestill can't f**k me.
yeah! f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k. - i just don't wanna die. - so, why don't we goahead and start the game. we have a question that you'regonna ask all three people, so go ahead and read thisquestion out to them. take a look at it. (low note) - [ariel] for everyone: i am a girl with a strongrelationship with my parents.
what is the one thing youwould never want my parents to find out about you? - [host] and we'll start with mr. one. - well, hello, ariel. - (laughs) oh, my god. - you know, sometimes i get alittle excited about things, and i can overreact, but, you know, i've always been very goodaround people's parents. - [host] after hearing that answer,
how do you feel about mr. one? - uh, generally, a nice guy. - [host] great. alright,mr. two, same question. - hi. i would maybe just keep some of the details of date night private. - okay.- alright. so this is a very private person. - nice. mr. three, go aheadand answer that same question.
what do you not want herparents to know about you? - um, i would not want them to know that sometimes i don't like to drink. (ding) - okay, so you've heard fromall three of our mr. numbers. right now, which one of these numbers do you think you want to kill? - [ariel] uh, number three sounds like somebody out of evil, out of the hobbit,
so i'm just gonna say that. - [host] okay. - [ariel] but definitelynot my final answer. i am not ready to answer yet. - [host] okay, great. let's go ahead and move on to round two, where you're gonna ask eachperson an individual question. - okay. mr. two, i think that spaceis the true final destination.
if you were a planet, what type of species would inhabit you and why? - well, if i were a planet, i would be uranus, 'cause i got that butt,know what i'm saying? and, i--(buzz) - mr. one, i am an equestrian at heart. what is the cutest outfit ahorse could wear, and why?
- i think i would have areally cute girl horse, and she would be in,like, a nice little, like, fifties poodle skirt,like, cute little dress, and have, like, a really high ponytail. - does that sound likesomebody you'd want to f**k? - [ariel] (laughs) yeah, yeah. mr. three, i am a vegetarian,so i don't eat any meat. but if you were a cannibal, which celeb would you wanna eat first?
- yeah, which celeb wouldyou wanna eat first? - i would eat george clooney, 'cause he's handsome and aged. - okay, okay, i like that. - like a steak.- ooh. - exactly, like a steak. - we're gonna move on to the final round. this last question isfor all three of them. - [ariel] okay. tell me ahaiku about how great i am.
- let's actually startwith mr. three this time. - your booty is fine. like chilled fine wine, so divine. all night or all day. - let's move to mr. two. - wednesday is date night. cuddling and snuggling, all right. please don't kill me,
yeah. - mr. one, what's your haiku? - you design so well. will you decorate my house? are you down to f**k? (laughter) - okay, okay, so we've heard the haikus, we've heard all these questions. now, ariel, is the time to decide.
who are you going to f**k,who are you gonna marry, and who are you gonna kill? lock in your choices, and we're going to revealyour decisions to you one by one. (bell rings) you have chosen... (high-pitched bell) - [ariel] (laughing) yes!
- just lift up. - was that good? i'm sorry you can't f**k right now, but we need to go pay ourrespects to the recently deceased. i know, i know, well you did this. you killed him. go ahead and see whoyou've done away with. (zipper buzzes) - oh, god!
- [host] what would you like to say? - zach, i'm really sorry, but we all knew thatthis was the only option. - i disagree with that. it was not the only option! you had three options! you coulda f**ked me,- zach is dead. - you coulda married me,- poor zach. - you coulda done anything!- he's gone.
- why, hold on, i want an explanation! - he's gone, but you know what that means? - i get to marry ned! - you get to marry ned! let's go to the wedding! and do you, ariel, takened to be your husband even though you just f**ked eugene and it was good, you know what i'm saying? it was good?
do you still want this? you still want this? - uh, if ned will have me back, yes. - i mean, i'd fuck eugene. - all right, then you maykiss your husband again. - [ned] yay! - awww, beautiful. thanks so much for playing. but we'll see you next time on...
- f**k! - [ned] marry! - [zach] kill. - [host] all right, y'all had a good time. everybody had a great time. oh, man. how was that sex, though? how was that sex? - [ariel] uh, it was nice.- yeah. - yeah, i mean, this, this.
- ugh, i don't wanna keeplooking at eugene's butt. (squeaks)
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