[calm piano music] michael: dr. free, here we are in the surgeon simulator 2013. michael: we have to transplant a heart. gavin: [weird noise] who's the patient?
Orange And White Game 2013, michael: some dude. i don't know. gavin: i'm beginning. god. michael: so you have the-- michael: you have the mouse.
michael: so you control his hand. gavin: a, w, e, r. michael: yeah. michael: and space. gavin: i'm not gonna worry about any of that. michael: no, 'cause i got the fingers. gavin: okay. michael: so we gotta bust this fucker open michael: rip his heart out
michael: and slap in a new one. gavin: good lord. michael: "million dollar man" style. gavin: [laughs] michael: it's like a billion now though. gavin: do you know where this music's from? michael: i have no idea. gavin: it's from casualty! michael: that doesn't-
michael: i don't care what that is. gavin: [hums song] michael: just fucking click the damn thing and start.gavin: oh, sorry. gavin: i didn't realize we were waiting on me. michael: alright.gavin: jesus. michael: okay. gavin. gavin. gavin: [laughs]michael: you already threw a pair of scissors michael: into his fucking gut. gavin: that was a-
michael: alright, go over the tarp so i can move the sheet. gavin: this is importantmichael: okay michael: no, we need to move this sheet, like-- gavin: don't swear at me, michael! michael: hang on my fingers don't work. michael: oh.gavin: oooohhh. michael: wait. hang on.gavin: [laughing] oh my god. michael: gavin michael: the heart's already just hanging out.
gavin: sorry. michael: fucking leave that. michael: that's a cup, dude. gavin: oh, okay, okay.michael: here we go, grab the sheet. michael: there you go.gavin: that’s my scissors! michael: there's the fucking scissors michael: just laying on his ribcage. michael: alright, these scissor michael: they're gonna fall inside his heart.
gavin: oh. gavin: there go the scissors. michael: well, there go the scissors. michael: that's fine; michael: we didn't need those anyway. gavin: he needs to be injected- gavin: oh! gavin: there goes- gavin: ooooooohhmichael: dude, lift your hand up.
michael: you're dragging everything on the floor! michael: i got it. michael: no, i don't. gavin: you haven't grabbed anything- oh michael: dude, you gotta lift your hand up michael: you’re fucking-gavin: oh michael: oh my god. gavin: ruined it. ruined it. michael: here, turn your-
michael: keep turning your hand. gavin: oops. sorry. pardon me. oh gavin: [laughs]michael: turn around. michael: [to patient] fuck you... you fucking piece of shit. michael: [to gavin] you're gonna fucking finger his mouth? michael: what are you doing? gavin: i'm waving the bird.
gavin: what is it that you americans call it? gavin: fl- um... flicking the bean? michael: flipping the bird, gavin.gavin: right, there you go. michael: flicking the bean?gavin: [laughs] michael: alright, get your finger out of his stomach. michael: get that fucking thing. we gotta- michael: leave the heart alone, man
michael: we gotta break his ribcage.gavin: let’s grab this bit of paper. michael: okay. michael: fucking christ.gavin: [laughs] michael: jesus christ. michael: alright. michael: where's the fucking heart?! michael: you thr- it's gone! gavin: [laughs] it was like a magic trick! michael: well, it's on the fucking floor now.
michael: i don't think the five second rule applies, dude. michael: you're not gonna blow the fucking dirt off of it. gavin: and for my next trick, gavin: i will pull out his ribs. gavin: [in weird accent] scalpel. michael: for what? michael: he's dead! michael: you threw his heart away! gavin: we can probably find it.
michael: how- where are we gonna find it?! gavin: it might be- gavin: oh, look at this pizza cutter!michael: oh jesus christ gavin: i just dropped the radio gavin: the music is gone! michael: no, the music is still playing michael: but you did put broken glass inside of him. gavin: get the pizza cutter. get the pizza cutter! michael: lift your hand up.
michael: let go of the trigger. both: okay. michael: now move it forward. michael: rotate your hand u- oh my god. gavin: [grunts] michael: you're slapping him in the facegavin: [laughs] gavin: it's gone minging. michael: gavin. gavin: these are vicious controls.
gavin: hold it. michael: okay, now lower it.gavin: yep. michael: okay, now we have the fucking head of the hammer. michael: [sarcastically] that's awesomegavin: [laughs] michael: let's wack him with the handle. michael: what are you fucking doing, dude? michael: okay, wait. michael: okay, grab it. gavin: we got it!
gavin: [extreme screaming]michael: you're hitting him in the face! michael: gavin!gavin: oh, god! michael: you just fucking cracked his brain! michael: he needs brain surgery now, dude. gavin: [laughing] i've got it stuck through the handle of the box! gavin: hold on. okay, we got it. gavin: [screaming]michael: jesus christ man michael: what are you doing?? gavin: we lost a lot-michael: stop. stop.
gavin: we lost a lot of-michael: gav. michael: we've lost everything.gavin: [sad] awwww.. michael: we've lost everything. gavin: that was too difficult, isn't it? gavin: isn't it difficult? michael: let's try to keep the heartgavin: alright. michael: in the fucking box this time,gavin: well... gavin: it was locked up. michael: until we crack his ribcage.
gavin: i accidentally did a magic trick and it went away, didn't it? michael: lower your hand. gavin: [helicopter noises] gavin: [mechanical claw noise] gavin: grab that. michael: don't pull his stomach out! gavin: can we use this? michael: i guess... michael: okay. hang on.gavin: let's grab this.
gavin: no, don't sw- [laughs] michael: my fingers don't work. hang on. michael: gavin, lift your hand up, dude. michael: you're picking up the clipboard! gavin: [quiet laughs] michael: you're gonna write him a note?! michael: "i owe you one new heart." gavin: what are these little dentist hooks? michael: i don't know.
michael: pick 'em up.gavin: like the tiny little mirrors. michael: no, wait. hang on. hang on. michael: no, you're gonna drop- both: ooooohhh michael: jesus christ gavin: [laughing] let's pull the guy's ribs out. 'cause he doesn't need those right now. michael: we're not gonna pull them ou- oh, my god.
gavin: sorry!michael: holy shit. michael: you ripped his ribs out with your bare hands. gavin: let's grab this one [screams] michael: [laughing] oh, my god. michael: oh, my god! gavin: boy, that's really on there! gavin: i've got a lung. gavin: [screams] michael: do we not need to put his lung back in?
gavin: thankfully, he has two lungs. michael: most of the damage is done. michael: get the hammer. gavin: he has two lungs, it's fine. michael: jus- just get the hammer, dude. gavin: let's get his glass of- oops. michael: would you stop breaking glass? gavin: is that my blood or his blood on my hand? michael: it's everyone's blood.
michael: 'right, it's between your f- gavin: [laughs]michael: goddamn it. michael: grab that fucking buzz saw for me. gavin: alright, let's get the pizza cutter. we're gonna use that. michael: it's not a pizza cutter. gavin: it is! michael: i can't pick it up!gavin: [laughs] michael. gavin: on the lower end.michael: ok, ok, ok. hang on. gavin: there we go!
michael: yeah, grab the fucking blade end, dude! gavin: okay, here we go. gavin: here we go. lower it down. it's a procedure. gavin: stop swearing at me the whole time! michael: we got it.gavin: [screams] michael: you're cutting his insides open.gavin: alright [continues screaming] michael: [laughing] gavin. gavin: let's get them out! gavin: that's bad news.
gavin: [saw noises] michael: bring your- oh my god. michael: you're gonna fucking cut this guy's head off. gavin: no, just gonna- michael: you just snipped his dick off. gavin: [grunts] there you go. did it! gavin: he's good. he's good. gavin: that's right, drop this. we don't need that. michael: ok, we're just gonna drop the saw back inside of him again.
gavin: ok, get the lung out of there! gavin: we don't need the lung. michael: we don't need a pesky lung. gavin: that's a bit of rib. don't need that. michael: ok, a broken rib. michael: this guy is fucking dying quickly. gavin: oh , is he? gavin: oh, he's losing blood! michael: are you trying to finger him?
gavin: [screaming] oh, that's a lung! michael: alright, there goes his other lung. gavin: that's a lung... [gibberish] [laughs]michael: why would he need that? gavin: alright, let's get the heart out of there! gavin: it's purple, it's not good. gavin: it's like a swolen plum. michael: [sarcastically] i wonder why. gavin: [snort laughs] gavin: grab it.
michael: i'm ff- gavin: wow! wow!michael: why are you gonna stab him to death with his own rib? michael: don't stab the new heart! gavin: let go of it! michael: [sarcastically] yeah, break the ekg machine too. michael: i'm gonna grab it upside down. gavin: it's like that scene in the matrix. michael: what am i doing? gavin: hoo, hwa~
gavin: [laughs]michael: dude. gavin: [screams]michael: holy fuck. gavin: [laughing] sorry. michael: his heart is still attached. gavin: there's too much stuff in there. michael: there's arteries and shit. gavin: yea, just yank them out. gavin: [grunts loudly]michael: gavin. gavin. gavin: [continues grunting]michael: gavin.
gavin: it won't come offmichael: [frustrated] gavin... gavin: alright, we need the pizza cutter again. gavin: hold on.michael: jesus... gavin: where is that?michael: [tired] it's right there. gavin: just over here~ gavin: actually, no. let's use- [laughs] gavin: [laughing] let's see where's the... michael: what are we-gavin: [giggling] we're really low on supplies. michael : you threw everything on the floor like an animal
gavin: the receptionist needs- okay. michael: the receptionist? michael: is that who stands next to the doctor during the operation? michael: you have seven knives in your hand right now. gavin: [old-timey accent] severe the arteries. michael: you're like fucking wolverine. gavin: [scream-growls] michael: you're gonna slice through this guy.gavin: i think i got it, i think i got it. gavin: let's -ahn- get this- ooh
gavin: we don't need this yet. gavin: let's get this just ready. michael: no. get it- gavin!gavin: oh! michael! michael: his heart's now just rolling around on the table. michael: it's gonna fall in between the cracks. michael: it's gonna fall in between the cracks.gavin: let's get this out of here. is it still beating? michael: he's fucking dying!gavin: you don't grab it! you gotta grab it! michael: i gotta grab his heart, just f-gavin: aw, don't grab the scalpel! gavin: you'll just cut his heart out!michael: what is this, mortal kombat?!
michael: i'm gonna rip his heart out of his fucking chest while it's still beating?! gavin: yeah! we'll lloyd christmas this thing- ahh! michael: this guy has about 20 seconds before he bleeds to death. michael: because you're trying to rip his fucking beating heart from his chest. gavin: that's still really on there, isn't it? alright. gavin: pizza cutter. let go, let go! pizza cutter. michael: oh my god. ohhh my god.gavin: here we go, here we go. it's like a, uh... gavin: it's a hawaiian pizza. michael: how is it like a hawaiian pizza?
michael: you're gonna slice his new heart in the-gavin: oh, it's rolling! gavin: alright, okay, it's as low as it can be, i'm gonna tease it aroundmichael: move it up! michael: move it up. gavin: [struggle noise] gavin: that was it! that was it! i think we got it! michael: okay... it looks like it's still beating. michael: you now dropped-gavin: get the new heart! gavin: he's gonna die in 2 seconds! grab it! michael: turn your hand around!
michael: i can't pick it up with the back of my hand! gavin: [laughing] wait, hold on! michael: oh my god! gavin: alright. michael: you're gonna punch the new heart into his chest! [gavin screaming] michael: goddamn it! goddamn it! michael: we lost another one! gavin: it was tragic, michael, it was tragic. michael: this is like m*a*s*h all over again.
gavin: but, as they say with surgery, it's a learning curve, isn't it? [michael laughing] gavin: let's go again! this time, let's use the hammer. gavin: i think the hammer's important. michael: well, here's what you should do about the hammer- gavin: alright, let's, i mean, let's- michael: don't throw it on the floor. gavin: i wish they wouldn't leave beakers around! gavin: who did-michael: stop fucking smacking them!
michael: what did you just knock off?gavin: [laughing] i dunno but it's broken now. gavin: here we go! [grunting] smash it! michael: holy shit.gavin: smash it! gavin: ohhh, it was a mess!michael: this is what my insurance is paying for? gavin: alright, let me get rid of that. michael you just- "hammer time!! - 2000 blood loss" gavin: alright, drop it, drop the hammer. michael: in his gut? gavin: n-no! careful!michael: no. get it out- get it
michael: you're gonna hit him in the face! gavin: alright... we're good. gavin: so, we need to cut the heart with this uh like j-jigsaw thing? michael: you wanna saw his heart to pieces with a hacksaw? gavin: yeah. michael: just slice the first heart in half on the way, why not?gavin: ohhh michael: yeah, it's there michael: this guy is getting fucking shredded. gavin: hold on...
michael: you still haven't severed the heart, michael: you just stabbed him in the abdomen a hundred times. gavin:i've lost- gavin: he lost 2000 blood in one go there michael: ahn... he's gonna be dead in about 4 seconds gavin: alright, there we g- [chokes] michael: did you just stab him in the face? gavin: [laughing] i think i slit his throat by accident gavin: [continues laughing]
gavin: [squeaks] gavin: i just severed- gavin: [heavy inhale] gavin: i went straight for the jugular michael: you're like the fucking angel of death! gavin: alright, this is the one! gavin: fourth time is the- gavin: [tries to remember the word charm] ahhn gavin: the surgery
gavin: it won't break this time!michael: okay michael: put the fucking- put the hand over there. gavin: oh!michael: there you go! gavin: that was everything.michael: okay, okay, okay. gavin: ooh, we lost a lot of blood. michael: the hammer is in your fucking hand gavin: [sigh of relief] michael: and now it's not. gavin: alright, let's ditch one rib-
gavin: ahn, one lung. michael: alright, get the fucking lungs out of there. gavin: oooh [laughs]michael: that was- michael: alright, it's fucking out of there! michael: punch it out, punch it out. michael: not the heart, dude! michael: there you go!gavin: ooohh michael: holy fuck!gavin: wow michael: alright, all the ribs are out.
michael: now, this is a clean cut. michael: he's got 2500ml of blood left. michael: just slice the arteries. michael: get the fucking heart out of there. gavin: well, i can't see because of my own hand! michael: well, fucking be the knive, dude. gavin: okay, going in. michael: stabbing him right in the center of the heart. gavin: oh, that was precision.
gavin: oh gavin: oh! that was it! gavin: i got it. michael: you didn't get it, but i'll- michael: i'll entertain you. michael: watch this. michael: why don't you put your hand in michael: and try to rip his still beating heart out of his chest? michael: watch what happens.
michael: what do you know? it won't come out, michael: 'cause it's still fucking attached by arteries! gavin: alright, alright. gavin: that can't still be attached, surely! gavin: that's it! that's it!michael: there we go! michael: okay, okay. fuck it! michael: grab the fucking- grab the new heart. gavin: [distressed noises] gavin: pizza cutter's stuck in my hand!michael: get the fucking-
michael: you dropped it inside of him! michael: get the new heartgavin: oh! oh! michael: get it, get it, get it, get it! gavin: wait, don't we need to get the other one out? michael: no, i don't give a shit! michael: just get the new heart. gavin: get this one out!michael: oh my god... gavin: get this one out! michael: the guy has fucking half of a fucking kitchen inside of him.gavin: ohh!
michael: alright? michael: slap it out of the way! gavin: oh! that was good. michael: get the fucking heart. gavin: alright, we don't have much time, michael! michael: [stressed] i know, gavin. michael: hurry the fuck up. michael: ok, don't.gavin: [nervous noises] michael: okay, go over it .gavin: [nervous noises]
michael: lower your hand.gavin: yep, we got it. gavin: alright.michael: we got the heart. gavin: [screams] michael: gavin, are you serious?!?!?gavin: [continues screaming] michael: are you fucking kidding me?!gavin: where did it go?! where did it go?! michael: you threw it against the wall like a wet paper towel!! michael: you wanna try and scoop it off the floor? michael: you wanna try and find it, gavin? gavin: have we got anything we can put in him?michael: you ripped everything out of his guts.
michael: he's filled with nothing but scalpels,gavin: [laughs] michael: and fucking buzz saws and shit.gavin: let's put the pizza cutter back in there! michael: he's got no ribs, gavin: grab it! michael: he's got no lungs, michael: he's got no heart; michael: you're a fucking idiot. gavin: shhhh... gavin: shhhhhh...
game: [bone cracking noise] gavin: [imitates noise] gavin: [laughs]michael: yeah. nice, gavin. gavin: [continues laughing]michael: nice. [channel's outro song] michael: you can't rip it out, gavin! michael: you have to cut it!gavin: [struggle noises] michael: it's not "temple of doom!"gavin: [louder struggle noises] michael: you can't just rip his heart out of his chest!
gavin: oh! b- oh, my god! michael: jesus christ! michael: my hand is stuck in his ribs!gavin: oh, my god! gavin: it's bloody coming out of his asshole! michael: what the hell are you doing?!gavin: [screams] michael: our hand detached.gavin: [still screaming] gavin: it's like a scene out of "alien"! michael: we cut our own hand off, then it reattached itself. gavin: okay. oh!
gavin: back in with the scalpel.michael: oh, my god.
0 Response to "Orange And White Game 2013"
Posting Komentar