hello everybody! my name is markiplier and welcome to "the bear's black heart". now imagine that you're a bear, trying to survive in the winter. it's gonna be a harsh one and you need to get as much food as possible in your little tum tum or else you're gonna turn ravenous,
What Time Is The Bears Game Today, and start to make choices that you don't wanna make. so this is a procedurally generated game that supposedly - oh *mark reads over game controls* ohhhhh.. okay
so anyway, you're a bear and you have a cuddly little heart, but you gotta make sure that you survive okay. hello! heh-hello? "welcome to fuzzy hollow" "hello there, you look like another one of those insomniac bears. been drinking too much coffee eh? not to worry, we'll help you get through the winter. keep your belly full and your heart clear and be nice and you'll make it through."
you're absolutely nuts! i'm outta here! "okie-dokie! you're on your own!" oh... something tells me that probably wasn't the best choice. okay. okay, so... nom? okay, good, alright. good, great, great, good. i ate a squirrel. i probably shouldn't do that as king of the squirrels.. uh, good, great, good, ate that.. mk.
oo! yum! okay. well this ain't so bad- is that a pic-anic basket?! nom! okay. great, this doesn't seem bad at all... i mean, where's the challenge, am i gonna die here? what's gonna happen? what's the worst that could happen? nom! mk..
yay? "wandering to a new part of the forest." okay! nom i'm always wondering- why am i a...why am i a mason jar-esque bear? why is my- why is my bear body separated by a giant jar of fluid with a floating heart that doesn't actually seem to be doing anything, oh..
what happened to my heart? wait, what the hell happened to my heart?! what? ohh! oh, i shouldn't be eating square-els. ohhh i'm an asshole. ohhhh oh, no! i've been goofing this whole time!
ohhh no. oh, okay! well, i thought that it would be nice- i thought- i thought bears were supposed to eat square-els. oh, i've- i've done bad everybody. i've done horribly bad, i'm a good bear! i'm a very good bear as far as i know! in fact i think i- i think i don't need to eat anything. i'm pretty sure that i've got absolutly everything that i need,
my stomach has been full this entire time. i mean, it's not like i could pack on fat, i've just got a jar- holy f*cking sh*t. what the f*ck are you? "gobble the dots, gobble the ghosts, but it's fruit i love the most!" "your heart is too dark to do this :(" *mark laughs* oh. oh. my heart is too dark to do this?!
...what? "gobble the gobbler!" "the curse has been passed! turns out if you eat a dot gobbler you become a dot gobbler." "plus food (you ate some food), plus corruption, plus gobblered... you're a dot gobbler!" what does that mean?! what, i'm a dot- *pac man ghost noises begin to play*
*they are very annoying* oh no.. oh no! that's annoying as sh*t! *laughs anxiously* oh no! oh, it's making my heart black! oh no! oh no i don't think there's any other food besides just dots.
oh no, what have i done? hello. hi. how are you? "you hear chopping and come across a wood cutter. he's absorbed in his work and doesn't see you." "your heart is too dark to do this :(" alright! you know what? i'll just commit to the darkness. i'm gonna eat the wood cutter! "he's lean and tasty! *laughs*" this is probably the best human you've ever tasted,
even yummier than that tender, lost brony who wandered the woods playing pokemon go. oh, no. "plus fresh?" food fills you up more? well that's handy. unfortunately, i'm the gobbler. so- eh- this is no good. ah, my heart is almost completely black. oh no, this is not good. oh, what's gonna happen when it turns black? i don't know.
i don't know. *pac man noises continue* oh, boy, i wish that would stop. oh, hi. please! eat me! please eat me! take the curse! i can't stand it! "you're accosted when a forest ranger jumps out from behind a tree. i know you he says, you stole that pic-anic basket last month!"
welp... time to eat ya! "you attack and eat the ranger, but not before he calls for help. you spend a horrible week on the run with no food from his workmates only escaping by jumping off a waterfall." well! i'm an asshole. eh- that's not good.. i'm runnin' out of food. runnin' outta will to live.. somebody please eat me!
oh, hi. oh, hello. "you hear an annoying grunt and find an angry little guy in a wheelchair. there's a bunch of balloons next to him. i don't want to fly with balloons! he screams." "let the - let the balloons go.." "eat the little guy.." let the balloons go? "the balloons go right into the engine of the passing airplane which causes it to crash into the forest, killing many people and animals?!"
what?!? excuse me?!? "less food found in the world"?! how in the fuck did that happen?! oh hello, hi how are you doing? "hello marien and frank, you look strange today would you like to come into my box of tea? the freaky little doll beckons you over to a small yellow box."
yeah, maybe it's - maybe it's time to do this. "you see the mummified remains of a man and a woman, there seems to be gnaw marks on their legs. *between giggles* you feel apain in your foot and look down to see the doll biting it. you smash its head and run for it. you notice you move slower." oh great. oh no-o-o. oh what have i done, somebody end this! i want to be a good bear! i just want to be a good bear.
oh i want to be a good bear. i'm a good doodle! i'm a good doodle. please just let me die, cold and alone. with my woka wokas in this corner. plese just, end my suffering. please oh!. "you starved." *laughs* "you lasted 6 weeks
you were slow, ravenous, fresh, famine and gobblered." god damn it! of course i made the worst possible decision, eating the fucking gobbler. what was i filled with, piss? why is it yellow? eugh ok, let me try that again, i'm gonna try one more time, and this time i'm gonna be good.
i'm going to be real good. so, i'mma talk to you, sure thing! "and remember, spring is only 15 short weeks away. you can speed things up by talking to people you find and investigating things." ok, can do. oh my god, there's no woka wokas!! that is so wonderful.
oh god, it's you. hi "gobble gobble gobble muh dots! gobble, gobble gobble gobble muh dots!" ok, i'm going to feed him his dots. "he gobbles your face in his frenzied dot goggling gobbler dot com." *pauses for a couple of seconds* your heart got a little darker. *this is what happens when you're nice, mark.* and i have gobbler vision.
well that's not good at all! is there any- what does gobbler vision mean? what does that mean? and why does my heart get darker? what did i do to you?! i'm not gonna eat those pic-anic baskets! cause they mean bad stuff for me but i'm gonna eat a... this apple. okay, i don't know what gobbler vision meant. but, uh...
apparently, i'm okay. everything seems to be going 100% smoothly. oh, hello! you're new. hi! "the poor bunny needs help fixing her basket she can't collect any berries for her babies. fix the basket with some fluff from your belly button. offer to buy her a new one. eat the basket. bite her face." i'm gonna fix the basket with the fluff from my belly button.
*laughing* "that's just weird- she maces you?" she maces you!? why?! why'd she mace me? why? i'm trying to help. yeah, i guess that was weird. i thought i- oh my god. you gotta be kidding me. you are f*cking with me! you are f*cking kidding me. oh no.
well this ain't good. this is gonna be another 60 seconds type situation where i'm never gonna be able to survive this because it's just all randomly generated bullsh*t. i mean, it could be good or bad i suppose. i mean maybe eating the lumberjack was actually the best bet. oh man. i- i don't want to eat the bunny because it had a family. *mumbles* i don't like it. why do i care?
*sad laughs* it-it's a cartoon bunny in a video game. why do i care about its family? but i dooo! just imagine the little baby bunnies all by themselves. i couldn't eat their mamaaw. they'd be deaaaaahd. oh. hello gobbler. why are you back? "gobble the dots, gobble the ghosts, but its fruit i love the most."
alright you know what? i'm gonna gobble the fruit. "uh, mango? you won't be able to sleep! ya have flatulence. you fart." i fart in the dark! i'm a dark farter. i'm mark the dark farter. good for me huh? everybody's happy about that. ok. *black bear farts*
that's nice! that's lovely i- i'm really glad that's happening to me. i'm glad. ok that's good. ok great. alright. i gotta admit though *black bear farts* this is actually kinda fun. it's- it's not what i expected outa- *black bear farts* *black bear farts* *black bear stares into your soul* it's not what i expected oughta the game but, ya know,
i gotta say it's got some charm to it and i like the randomly generated, so. "you hear sobbing and you find a wood cutter. he explains that he was swinging his axe and the head flew off into a stream. he seems very upset. help him find the axe head." "you whistle and your little pal, freedmont fish, pops up from the water before happily retrieving it for you. the wood cutter then chops *shocked intake of breath* your arm off in a fit of gleeee?!? what a corny world?"
whhhaaaaaaaaaat?!?! whaaaaaaat?!?! whhhaaaaaaaaaat?!?! i shoulda eaten that asshole n- that is a weird thing for me to shout i- i take back that statement. i take it back! alright the farts aren't helping my case in a- in any aspect here. *poor markimoo* *woefully* i should've eaten that lumberjack. *black bear fart :) * *black bear fart*
alright... welp. okay~ ohhh no. i'm not gonna make this one. i don't want this! i don't want anything! i've only got one arm! how am i gonna be able to make it through this? i'm not! the answer is no! oh no *ultimate sigh of sadness* you think that- you think that the effects of a mango wouldn't last this long. "i don't wanna fly with balloons..fly yourself with balloons?"
alright then, i'm gonna fly. "you launch yourself into the air with the balloons but are too heavy and you crash land into a tree hurting your leg." greaaaattt. awesomeee-muh wonderful. okay. yeah, that's good. alright. you know what? it's fine. just gonna carry on, i'm only getting corruption just because these assholes seem to be d*cking with me, not because
i'm doing anything wrong- i wonder if there's any positive way to get outta those things. i mean the only positive thing that happened was when i ate the- oh, what are you? "mushroom; you hear a squeaking and look down to see a mushroom with a face!" ho there mah man, it says can you fetch me 10 apples from the woods?" uh, i'm gonna eat the mushroom for tha psychedelic effect.
"you feel trippy." "...all trees are mushrooms." *mumbles* i don't.. *sighs* oh, no! i see the ghost of the thing that i ate right in front of me! oh, stop fartting!! staph! staphh! it was just one mango *black bear fart* mannn.. it was just one mango..
*black bear farts twice* okay, okay.. i mean it's so funny because the game is so cutesy *black bear fart* and everything. but at it's heart it's horrible! *laughs* it's really a dire situation here. i mean i gotta make it to 15 weeks, so it doesn't seem too terribly bad. but, along the way i gotta do some horrible things to some.. horrible people. stop farting please. i'm trying to make a profound statement about the *black bear farts*
...the morality of what i'm doing here for survival for myself *farts* and how many people that i'm *farts* how many people that i'm killing *farts* all along the way. *getting frustrated* if you could stop farting i'm tryna make a profound statement literally, you know, you could.. could stop being such an asshole figuratively *farts* *mark sighs* oh, hello. alright, okay.. climb into tha- i'm gonna climb into this box. climbing in. "you sit next to the mummified remains of a man and a woman.
we're gonna fatten you up says the doll. it shoves apples into your mouth. you fight it off and make a break for it. as you run away freaky piano music begins to play." oh, no! nooo! *anxiously* is there gonna be freaky piano music? *eerie silence* oh no.
oh, okay, that's not so bad. *music begins to play* that's fine. i thought that was gonna be freaky piano music accompanying me for this whole game. apparently it's alright! oh, hello again. alright, you know what? i'm going to "do what you know what to do." wait. you hea- "there's a guy talking sh*t about me! he says.
you know what to do, you know, what to do!" do you know what to do? "do what you know what to do!" "you know what to do when you do it. when it's done you not- know not- what- ngh... you see- i see more bad choices. they've all been bad choices! *black bear farts* all of them! all of my choices have been baad! plus i'm very corrupt in my hiuart
stop farting. oh, hello, again. hello! welcome back! "sounds of anger attract you to a hiker, she seems very frustrated. howdy there mister bear she says would you give me a hand putting up my tent? i just can't seem to get it right." how about i refuse to help? "as you walk away she starts to cry, her sadness seems to split the sky and you spend a cold wet lonely night under a bush."
"mingy; the choices you make, make you more worse." o-kay. *black bear farts* great. well that's- i- my heart is black. greaat. and i'm starving, i haven't found enough food. i'm gonna have to just eat square-els. stop. please. *black bear farts* please just.. stop. oh, hello! "rawr, a monster jumps out! a little ball of poo escapes from your *through giggles* bum with the fright!
"eat the monster." "the monster was pregnaaaannnnnt *mark sobs* now you have 12 little monsters of your own squirming inside your body." not good! you fart. i guess i fart more now.. do i fart twice as much? and why? i don't wanna faarrtt! *black bear farts*
staaph! *black bear farts again* *and again* oh, god, it's twice as much isn't it? of course i get another farting bad thing *black bear farts* of course! *black bear farts* staph farting! *black bear farts again* stop.. *black bear farts again* don't.. *black bear farts yet again*
hello! oh. "you meet a wonderful singing ghost, he wants to perform to you." well, too bad! i can only eat you. "you rebel rebel you! but eh... you can't eat ghosts. empty cals." "ravenous; you get hungry faster." well damn it! *black bear farts* i am noottt gonnaaa makee ittt amm i oh, i see somethin over there! oh, it's the doll again! "knock, knock! open wide! see what's on the other side, knock knock even more to come, even more come with me through the magic door, this creepy little thing wants you to follow it one the doors behind it." "eat the doll!"
"you shove the wooden doll in your mouth. the wooden head splits spilling gears and cogs into your belly. you feel your stomach start to ache." goddammit i fart even more?! why?! god, i keep getting- every single one i've gotten has made me fart. fine *black bear begins to fart multiple times* f*ck it, i'm almost done, might as well go through this, try to get to the end of it.. can i eat a rock? can i eat anything? just a few more and i'm done i guess. *black bear farts*
i just- it- spring comes in two more weeks. two more weeks. i got this. *black bear farts* eugh, stop farting. *black bear farts again* stop *farts once again* stop farting! *farts yet again* no time to fart unless it's propelling me further into the forest don't fart! *farts* god, *farts* why did *farts* i get maced in the eyes like *farts* the second week in? hello! "you hear someone blowing a whistle and come running to find a forest ranger arresting another bear."
"eat them both." "you barrel into both of them and knock them out. before they can wake up you hogtie 'em and eat them bit by bit over the course of the next week. you get stomach ache." i fart even more?!? goddammit!! f*ck! it must be impossible to fart! *black bear farts* like, to not fart through this sh*t. this is like a perpetual fart train! *black bear farts* jesus! it's non-stop farting! from start to finish! *black bear farts* i mean i guess that's life anyway it's a non-stop fart fest as long as you go.
*black bear continues to fart* i mean maybe that's supposed to be the deep reality that we all get from this game is that you- you just understand that life is just full of farts and that there's nothing that you can do to stop it. last person? yes? hello! "you're accosted when a forest ranger jumps out from-" ah, eat 'em! "you attack and eat the ranger, but not before he calls for help." blah, bleh, blah, blah. okay. is it done? *black bear farts* goddammit! why am i still going? do i gotta finish this week? just stop fartttinggg *black bear continues to fart* stop farting!!
stop! *black bear farts* stop! *farts* oh, man, i gotta eat, this is gonna be the last week, this is gonna be a dire one isn't it? *farts* hello! let's see. blah (x6) eat 'em! he's lean and tasty! yes! best ever! yes! am i done? whooooo! yeah! i lasted 15 weeks! i won!
i was flatulence times 4! oh, boy, okay. so anyways, that is uh "the bear's black heart." not a bad ending to this. this is kinda an interesting game. i don't know if it's possible to get through the whole game with your heart not being black, but i'm pretty sure that's the whole design of the game, considering the game is called "the bear's black heart". but i did it! so if you want to try it for yourself, i'll put a link to the game in the description below. thank you everybody so much for watching, and let me know what you think down in the comments below.
do you think farts are funny? ha ha ha! maybe? i don't know. i'm not judging you. you write me, you tell me. so either way, thank you so much for watching and as always i will see you in the next video! buh-bye! *outro plays in full swing* black bear fart count: 60+ times!
0 Response to "What Time Is The Bears Game Today"
Posting Komentar